Why loving your book and selling your book are not the same thing

We’ve all been there — a party, a social gathering, a well-meaning conversation.

“Oh, you’ve got a book published? Wow, you must be doing really well.”

It isn’t their fault. For people outside the writing world, publishing a book is often assumed to be the financial finish line. The reality, of course, is very different. Being good at writing books and being good at selling books are not the same thing.

There are bestsellers, but even that word is misleading. A true bestseller should arguably be defined by consistent sales over time — not a brief spike that disappears as quickly as it arrives.

Let’s look at a few examples.

Someone sells 100 books in a single day. Technically, they hit the top of a sales chart and can call themselves a bestseller — for one day. After that, sales dry up and the book quietly disappears.
Someone sells five books a day, every day, for several months. They may never hit number one, but through consistency they gradually build momentum and visibility.
Someone sells 1,000+ books a day, every day, for a year. Printers are panicking. Schedules are full. People are fighting in the streets for copies. A national emergency has been declared. The author has gone into hiding.
This is probably a bestseller.

What strikes me as odd is that writers are judged by standards that don’t exist elsewhere. If someone told you they played football, you wouldn’t respond with, “Great — which Premier League team do you play for? Arsenal or Man City?”

And yet writers are routinely measured against the very top of their field.

Many writers put in an enormous amount of work to bring their books into the world — navigating self-doubt, rejection, time constraints, and technical hurdles — all without the promise of a single sale. That’s the reality for most books.

None of mine are bestsellers. Not even close. Does that stop me? Hell no.

Is it stubbornness? Almost certainly. But mostly, it’s because I enjoy writing: creating characters, building worlds, shaping stories. Of course, it’s a thrill when people read and enjoy my work — but if that doesn’t happen in the numbers I hoped for, so what? That was never the only reason I did it.

Which raises an important question:

Are there other ways to measure success as a writer — beyond sales figures?

(As an aside, the worst question of all: “What’s your book about?”
They might as well say, “Please summarise 80,000 words into a slick soundbite that thrills me immediately.” Not really a fair question, is it?)

Here are a few better ways to think about writing success.

1. Readers and Connection

Making genuine connections with readers matters. Feedback — what worked, what didn’t, what stayed with them — is incredibly valuable.

Q: How’s the writing going?
A: I get great feedback from my readers.

That’s not nothing. That’s real.

2. Personal Development as a Writer

Writing is about growth. About proving something to yourself. About finishing something tangible that didn’t exist before.

Q: How’s the writing going?
A: I just finished my latest draft, and I’m really proud of it.

That pride is earned.

3. Skills You Gain Along the Way

Every writer accumulates skills beyond the page: editing, formatting, cover design, grammar, storytelling craft. Not to mention the creative fundamentals — character, dialogue, voice, and style.

Many of these skills spill over into other areas of life and work.

Q: How’s the writing going?
A: I feel like I’m really finding my writing voice, and I’ve picked up skills I can use elsewhere too.

4. Personal Achievement

Writing a book is a significant achievement. It requires resilience, discipline, and the ability to keep going despite setbacks.

And writing the book is often just the first hurdle — not the last.

Q: How’s the writing going?
A: I’ve finished my latest project, and I feel a real sense of achievement.

That answer matters, regardless of sales.

Focusing on What You Can Control

All of these answers feel healthier than obsessing over whether you sold one copy or one thousand.

Sales matter — of course they do — but they are only partially within your control. Your effort, growth, persistence, and satisfaction are far more reliable measures of success.

Celebrate the small wins. Learn from the setbacks. Keep going.

Most of all, keep doing the thing you love.