Poetry online by Gavin Turner

I want there to be three footnote lines of an obituary,

Misprinted in the Guardian,

That say Gary Turner was a writer of poems,

About nothing really, nothing,

It was all just nonsense we fear

And not in a good way. Like Edward Lear

I want a cremation, no hanging around,

Looking for a suitable ditch to be found

Scatter my ash with the dust on the floor

Let everyone have one drink more than they need,

I want a proper party in a really posh bar,

Where the gin is zen, with expert barmen,

So the the trendy glamorous people can 

trample all over me – again

I want a eulogy filled with lies,

So there’s talking points for later,

I will hire a supermodel to cry and pretend I used to date her,

I want those curtains to close,

To the theme from Star Trek,

I want a coffin adorned with

characters from Shrek

In fact I  don’t care, do what feels right,

I won’t complain, I can hardly put up a fight,

Whatever was me, will be well and truly gone,

All I ask is. Remember me, someone